I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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