i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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