Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize
