addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
So many bounce houses so little time
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
