ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
