This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize