do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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