is your mom at the bar?
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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