Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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