I wannas sexs uuuuu
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
