In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
