Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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