batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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