You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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