Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize