Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize
