you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
There's always time for handjobs
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
