And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
