3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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