You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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