And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Can I color on your dick again?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize