i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
