Fuck appropriateness.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
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Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
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His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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