She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
