How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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