i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Someone signed my nipple.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
