somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
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you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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