It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
