I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
