I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
