Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
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