Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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