dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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