well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I intend to get homeless drunk
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
