Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
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So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
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Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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