is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
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I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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