okay pat passed out under dana's car
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
