Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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