no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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