Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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