i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize