I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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