Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
