yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
