We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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