I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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