at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
is wine microwaveable?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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