we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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