if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
