I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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