Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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