i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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