is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
