So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
