wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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