The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
