I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
