Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
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I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
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I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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