Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
