i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize