Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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