i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i drank out of a bidet.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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