Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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