dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
