Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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