yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
