Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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